Iremember how I got to this place in my life like it was yesterday. And when I say, “this place in my life” I am referring to the fast pace of keeping up with a beauti- ful little girl, a very successful husband still working on
expanding his responsibilities to grow his career, and me
doing the same.
Spending most of my originating career single was
great for my bank account and my goals, but didn’t do
much for my personal growth. I forgot birthdays, never
made time for friends, and you can forget about having
a committed relationship. I averaged 147 hours of work
every two weeks, and, in reality, I am sure I was working
harder not smarter. Needless to say, when friends set me
up with a single, successful man striving for the same things
in life, I saw this as my out.
I could fall in love with the man of my dreams, repriori-tize, and perhaps start a family as I knew he would be the
perfect father. However, like every hyper competitive, type-A successful business person, slowing down and reprioritiz-ing is not easy. You develop a standard, perhaps even an
addiction to the pace, and you virtually have to retrain your
body and your mind. This is easier said than done.
In the process, I found I was so conditioned to certain
originating behaviors that staying away from my phone or
email too long caused angst and anxiety. I just couldn’t shut
it off. I wasn’t able to re-prioritize, re-calibrate, and slow
down. I wasn’t able to do this when I got married, nor did I
feel pressured to do so. You can imagine the rude awakening when a year and a half later we were blessed with our
beautiful little girl, Timber.
THE PRESSURE TO
By Jessica Rocho Nagatani
Jessica Rocho Nagatani is the Chief
Production Officer for Honolulu Home
Loans and a mother of two. Jessica can
be reached at email@example.com.
Most would assume this would force anyone to slow
down, put family first, and stop worrying about the money,
the business, and the funding numbers. No, not me. It motivated me even more to prove to everyone I could do it all.
I had Timber one day and went right back to work the next.
My highest funding month that year was the month she was
born. I don’t know what it is. Is it the need to be the best?
Was it my attachment to making money or the lifestyle
I was accustomed to living? Did I need to be needed by
clients and referral partners or did I not want anyone taking
my book of business I worked so hard to grow?
What is it that keeps us coming back for more day in
and day out to this business, and, in some cases, sacrificing
our families, our health, and weIlbeing to help the next customer? Is this business that rewarding or is it an addiction?
As mom’s, do we feel we need to prove we can do it all
Raise a family, make the money, and take care of ourselves?
Are we still breaking the glass ceiling as mortgage moms in
the business? Do dads feel the same amount of pressure
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