As I travel around the world giving talks on how
to have wellbeing at work, people often ask me
where’s the best place to start when it comes to
moving from a world of greyness towards a life that
feels full of color again. As I reviewed study after study
on wellbeing, interviewed many of the world’s leading
researchers and experimented with applications for
thousands of employees, there have been three big
a-ha moments that shaped my equation to move from
functioning to flourishing.
1ST A-HA MOMENT:
WELLBEING RATHER THAN HAPPINESS
SHOULD BE YOUR GOAL
My first a-ha moment came while I sitting in class
with Professor Martin Seligman and he told us that he
was replacing his theory of happiness with a theory of
wellbeing instead.
You see I’d spent most of my life chasing happiness. I was sure this would be the magic ingredient
that ensured all my hopes were realized. The problem
was no matter what I seemed to try or how many
happy experiences I collected, the feeling just never
seemed to last. I needed something more robust.
Rather than happiness being the goal of life,
Marty’s new theory proposed our goal should be to
flourish individually and together and that wellbeing
– in particular the pillars of positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment
(often referred to as PERMA) – was the path to get
there. Practically this created...
2ND A-HA MOMENT:
WELLBEING REQUIRES CONSISTENT
COMMITMENT AND EFFORT
Now I had the steps all figured out, surely flourishing would come easily. Well not quite.
My next a-ha moment came when I was reading
the research of Professor Barbara Fredrickson from
the University of North Carolina on different actions
we can take to improve our wellbeing. Again and again
her research touched on the importance of looking
after our physical wellbeing, particularly through exercise and meditation.
Based on a growing body of evidence and my own
experiences, it became clear that eating well, exercis-
ing regularly, meditating daily and sleeping deeply were
the hygiene factors to ensure I had the energy to
consistently execute the five steps Marty gave me. So
I decided to create a guiding practice to keep me on
track:
Barb’s research also concluded that just like going
for one run or eating one piece of broccoli won’t
suddenly make us healthy, the same is true when it
comes to our general wellbeing. She advocates we
use the tested practices of positive psychology to
build life-expanding habits that little by little remake
our lives from the inside out. This gave me a second
guiding practice to consistently execute the five
steps:
3RD A-HA MOMENT:
WELLBEING NEEDS NOVELTY TO ENDURE
Now I had the steps for flourishing, the physical energy and the habits to make it happen and for
a while everything was pretty fabulous. Except after
several months went by, the changes I made just didn’t
seem to be having the same impact they had when I
started.
- Choose to eat well, move regularly, meditate
daily and sleep deeply each day to ensure you have the
energy to consistently flourish.
- Create small, busy-proof habits
throughout the day to keep your wellbeing on track. - Create some jolts of joy in your day - like spending
time in nature, listening to a favorite song, finding something to
laugh about - to speak heartfelt positive emotions and fuel your
resilience.
- Use your strengths - like creativity, bravery,
- Embrace a learning mindset and challenge
your fears to cultivate the grit you need to achieve what matters
most.
- Make the time to genuinely connect
with other people - by expressing gratitude, asking appreciative
questions or showing kindness - and savor the feelings of warmth
and trust that well up with others.
- Know what gets you out of bed
each morning. Try completing this sentence: Everything I do is to
__________________, so that ___________________.